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| So the last two days of work have been really busy and stressful. And then I also have this problem. When I get stressed about one thing, I start freaking out about everything else. Today I started freaking out about finances to the point of tears. At work. How embarassing. Anyways, I really need to find a second job, but I have no idea where to start. I need to find a job that can work around my other work schedule, which makes things challenging. Either that, or I need to find a full-time job closer to my apartment. Even if I just made as much as I make now, the money I would save on gas may be enough to make ends meet. But I like my current job and have lots of friends at work, and leaving would be depressing. If they would just pay me a little more. . .but I already asked for that, and it doesn't look like it's going to happen. I hate job hunting. And I'm really bad at it. I have no idea what kind of job I'm looking for. I'm not good at a lot of things. The things I'm good at don't seem to be very profitable. I guess I've just gotta look far and wide and long and hard for a job and trust God to provide one! And then I want to get this school bill paid off so I can get back to college! I don't want to be in college right at the moment, but I don't like this not even having that option right now. It makes me feel kinda stuck. Funny, that's how I felt at Calvary too. | | |
| So it's been almost 2 years. Now I have constant access to xanga again! So here's where my life is right now. I got kicked out of Bible college after being there way too long and not graduating (some of you will be shocked by this news). And no, I didn't get kicked out for being there too long. I broke a couple rules. It was stupid, and I regret it. But school wasn't working right now anyway, so I'm thankful for the break. I can go back after I pay off all the money I owe. I may or may not do that. I'm looking into other options as far as school goes. But for now, I'm just working and living in my own little apartment. I had so much fun decorating it just the way I want! It's perfect for me, and I'm happier than I've been in a long time. | | |
| I found out that most of my college credits that I would have "wasted" from changing my major fit into the Christian Education minor. I would only have to add three more classes to complete that minor. So it looks like I'm changing my major to Vocal Performance and Pedagogy with a minor in Christian Education! But I still have to get it approved by my academic advisor. . . | | |
| Wow, it's been almost a whole year since I've written. Xanga's blocked on my college's internet, so I can only write from home, and I'm almost never here. But here I am. I was just reading about how I almost changed my major last summer and then didn't. Guess what? I got the same crazy idea this summer. I really do want to change my major to Vocal Performance and Pedagogy. I'm just not satisfied with the major I have now. Now I wish I had changed it last year. I've already been in college for four years, so it's RIDICULOUS to change my major now. If I don't change it, I will graduate next May. Five years of college--that's not bad. A lot of people take five years to get a four-year degree. But if I change my major (keep in mind, I would be changing from one music major to another, not too drastic of a change), it would take me one additional year (six years to get a four-year degree). And I will have "wasted" about a semester's worth of credits. And I don't even know if my academic advisor will approve it. Maybe I'll let that be the deciding factor. I really don't mind spending another year in college to work toward the degree that I really want. I feel like I've kind of just been goofing around in college, working toward a degree but having no idea what I'm going to do with it. But now I'm actually thinking about what I want to do with the rest of my life. And I feel that in order to do what I really want I need to graduate with this major. Now I could go ahead and graduate with my current major and then work toward the other one, but that would take even longer. I'm willing to put in six years, but NO MORE! If I spend six years in college I will graduate in the year 2010 at the age of 25. That's kinda cool. Of course, if I forget about this whole crazy idea, I could graduate in 2009 at the age of 24, but what would I do after that? Would I be able to get a good job using my God-given abilities and be satisfied with life? Or would I be stuck working at my current job (at a grocery store) with a useless degree? And then have to commit two more years of my life to getting a better one? Maybe it is a good idea to change it now. I'm convinced that that's what I really want. I feel like I'm finally starting to figure things out, and yet I feel like I'm never going to get it all figured out. I wish I would have known exactly what I wanted to do when I graduated from high school, went immediately to college, and graduated in four years. Then I would have graduated a year ago and would already have my career started. But I was (am) immature for my age. I've made a lot of mistakes, but I've learned from them and I've grown up a lot. I feel like I'm still behind, like I'm not nearly as mature as I should be at this point in my life. But maybe I can catch up. I'm ready to grow up now. | | |
| OK, so I changed my mind. I'm not going to change my major. But I am going to keep taking voice lessons even though they are no longer being used toward a degree. Voice lessons are expensive (and it stinks that I can't take them for audit and I have to pay a big music lesson fee plus and accompanist fee), but I really want them. And it's still cheaper than taking all the classes I would have to take if I changed my major. Oh, I'm going to take Music Theory 3 and 4 too. I can audit those classes. So I guess I reached a compromise with myself. I'm not going to spend quite as much time and money as I was thinking about spending, but I am going to spend a little extra time and money to get some extra training in the areas I want. Good plan? | | |
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